Category: Uncategorized

In the oracular womb
Two doors
On the right:
The Innocence of All Desire.
On the left,
The Overcoming of All Desire.
Choose.

On the right:
Death AND Life
On the Left
Lifeless Death
and Deathless Life.
Choose.

You may have
Whatever experience
You like.

On the right
Scream and fight
Turn all your might
Against Death when
She comes for you
But not UNTIL then.
Not before
Or in any other when
Besides the when in which
She stands upon
Your very door.

If She wins?
Surrender to your Lover then
Be taken and delight.

On the right:
Feed the hungry beast
Where there is feast
And where there is Hunger
Let Her also Be.

On the Left
Dispense with Life-Death-Life
Get off the ride.
Choose the will-less
Choice
Rejoice
In the stripping away
Nothing is yours
Nothing needs saved.
The Corporeal: a game.
The more you lose
The more you gain.

Choose.

Be gone!
Well meaning
Though you may be
You may not
Touch me
With healers hands
That name pain
“The problem”
And hold Love
In contingency.
When you get better
Those hands say:
When…

I choose
My Lover’s hands
The Christed One
The Mammoth trunk
And Lao Tzu
In sapphire blue

I choose
The sacred
Garden cleft
Governed above
By Peak and Snow
Where healing comes
With Lovers’ touch
By outward flow.

In the open mouth
Of the crying babe
The nipple is placed

Already thrumming
With the clamor
Of milk building
Yearning
To satiate

Need met with need
Vulnerability
Matched
Willingness to open
Receive
Flow

Latch

A million neurons
Thirst
Search
Connect

Warm
Sweet
Liquid
Finally
Let

Body against body
Hand rests
On breast
Relief
Expressed
In a tiny foot’s
Unrest

Slow
Dwindle of flow
Stomach
Relaxed
Not empty
Not full

Nestle
Into this loving
Nest
Oh sublime luxury
In finding
The other breast

This time with less need
More celebration
Of what is
Latch
Embrace
Full bliss
With milk
In belly
In throat
On lips

Drink until
Awareness slips
Release
Fully
Mind
Body
That last fleeting
Grip

Ecstasy
In pure connection
Ecstasy
In total satiation
Ecstasy
In body meld
Ecstasy
In letting go
And being held

I spend time
Rearranging
Dried
Rose petals
Because I sense
That the yellow ones
Are out of place
And they are all
A bit uncomfortable
As they lay.

Time well spent,
I would say.

I am a thing
With skin.
Life touches me
From the outside
And from within.

I allow my Self
To unravel
And unwind.
She pieces me
Together
Once again.

I am drawn
To the drops
The waterfalls
The cocophony of
Reverberations
As water
Hits rock
Hits water
Hits rock

Don’t stop

Fill
The air
With movement
Joy
So I can sit here
Still
And grieve
My
Boy

Still reeling
From two years ago
Still feeling
The pull
Of a world
Of possibilities
That left me
Even though
I would gather energy
Expend
All of me
To bring it back

But no
This world
Is bigger than me
And what will be
Will be

This doesn’t just happen to me
This is universal
Loss is the guarantee
With love
And emptiness
Is all we see
Without love

So
What will it be?
Retreat from the world
A frightened
Angry beast
Or come out
Feathers in full time plume
Love
Anger
Agony
In full bloom
Churning
Rock
And wood
And death
And decay
Into fertile soil
To bring
Love
And life
In another form
Forth
To light up
Another day

I stand here
Naked in my love
It doesn’t matter
That Jasper cannot be
Bymy side
It doesn’t matter
That it has been two years
Since he died

My skin will let off
The heat of the sun
My heart has turned molten
Gold
Melted
Starting to run
Fast through my veins
No
I do not stand here
In vain

My voice echos
Through time
And through space
Jasper
Alive
In my love for him
Standing in
His
Proper
Place

Every time
I close my eyes
Settle
Into my heart
Body
Mind
I find
Grief
Piled high
Against the doors
And the walls
Blown in
On a frigid wind
Bypassing my defenses
As nature
Powerful in her knowing
And beholding
Is wont to do

What to do
Briskly sweep
It back out again
Put up another defense
No matter how fragile
And thin?

No
This is sacred
This is love
This is a gift
From the skies above

I will sit with each drift
In turn
Naked body
Warming
Soothing
Opening
To the icy
Burn

Patient

Time
Measured
Only
By the steam
Showing
This breath
This aliveness
This experience
That is mine

Feel
The steel wool
Of frost
Eventually
Melt
Into a cool
Pool
Quietly
Accepted
Into a gentle
Warp
Of the floor
Board

Sleep now
Rest
Into the warmth
Of Gods breath

Grief’s drifts
Come
And go
Sacred cycle
Sacred acceptance
Sacred soft snuggle
Into the Mystery
We may feel
But never
Hold

There is a time
A season
When my grief
Rides the high
Tide
Washes up on my shore
Limp
Wordless
Waves recede
They will carry her no more

Now is my turn
To take her in
Seat her by my hearth
Help her breath
Again
And though
Her skin is cold
Her wet cool sweat
Soaks the carpet
Pools on the floor
My job
Is to love her
Accept her
Celebrate
All she has worked for

For even though
I can’t see beneath
The sea
She is loyal there
Tirelessly
Working
To churn pain
Into a recognition
Of our human needs

So now
Won’t you sit down
Have a cup of tea
Let me shoulder the burden
Of crying
For a while
Of dying
And for a while
You can just be

Oh grief
I see you
And sometimes
I fear you
But really you
Are a sweet beautiful
Part of me
Fertile soil
For fragile
Love
To burst
Free

So
Until you are full
Nourished by my tears
Don’t go
Back to the sea
Sit here
As the world crackles
All around
And my heart
Explodes
Collapses
And is reborn
In a fiery display
Of Love
Of Trust
Of God
Of surrender
Into the depths
Today

On the edge of the forest
There is a tree
Sweet mother madrone
Where I can just be
Sad
Mad
Ecstatic
Glad
Let out
What ever
Is inside
Of me

Sometimes in the mornings
A sliver of sun
Winds through the canopy
To kiss my face
As I nestle
And snuggle
Into this sacred space