Author: Brittany

She speaks

How vulgar
Is the crowd
Scurrying
Intently gathering
Organizing
And planning.

Seeking advantage
Anticipating
Perseverating
Calculating
Conniving

Ordering finery
Well dressed
But petty
Nonetheless
Slaves.

Afraid of death
And bound to
Whatsoever
Survival requires

So speaks
The Beggar Queen
Lady of Instinct
Dressed in next
To nothing
But pride,
Defiance,
Sun touched and
Sugar blushed
Skin.
Crowned with
Glimmering Hair
Jeweled eyes
Opened Wide
Drinking light and
Glowing Night.

So speaks She
Who loves Life
And welcomes Death
Who loves Death
And welcomes Life
Who opens wide
Her long legs
And welcomes Fate
Impregnate
Her sacred womb
With Monsters
And Saviors
With Heroes,
And Liars,
Debasers
And Thieves:

Whatsoever please
The ravening
unraveling
Nature of Things.

Death is one
So too is the will
to step up to a higher plane
where ease is the rule
And abundance the substrate.

The Lower and the Upper gate.
Lead both and always
To the self-same place.

Neither is better
So prefer neither
Walk the path as laid
Make the path you’ll make
Find the ordained gate
Step through into grace
Both lead to this place:
The gold-lit Tree of Life
The Lover’s warm embrace

Listen!
All roads lead to Heaven

Death is a gateway
Wealth is a gateway
Ease is on the other side of each
God is the threshold
And She is the breach

Sin is forgetting you are god
Sin is submitting to the wrong
Story about what you are
And what Life is
And what She wants

She is only ever singing you
To freedom
To sweetness and to bliss
She only pushes to deliver you
Through the birth
Of overcoming
Or the birth of undergoing.
Whatever way you go,
Mark this:
Whichever road She
Sings you down,
Call it victory or pain,
She is only always leading you
To paradise again.

My tummy hurts
A lot
Every day

My tummy hurts
My heart
My tummy hurts
My brain

My womb hurts
My guts hurt
My will hurts

For some hours
Of the day
Every day
For months
And years
And more
Than a decade.

Curled up
On the floor
Hating
My feelings,
Hating
My shame.
Stuck here
Washed ashore
Deserted
And hungry
Weak and
Insane.

Locked down
And sheltered
In place
Afraid to go out
Afraid to engage
Because sooner
Or Later
I’ll be ruled
By this pain

For years now.

My life force
Squandered
On hurting
My life force
Eaten by
Pain.
Impotent in
So many ways:
Retarded,
Teen-aged
Unable to
Transition
To Mother
From Maid

Unable to Create
Unable to Sustain

I am hurt
It defines me
I am hurt and
Hurt binds me
I am jailed
And my Jailor
Is Pain.

I am sick
And infected
With sorrow
From days
Upon days
Upon days.

I don’t want
To be with
This sadness
Gods, hear me
It’s too much
To take.

I don’t want
To be healed
If it means
I must yield
The flood tide
Of grief
Surging
Beneath
The Pain
That I’ve felt
Every day.

Gods please
Save me
Gods please
Grace me
Don’t forsake me,
Gods
Please make me
Gods please
Take these
Memories away.

Seems like
If I have too much
The parasites
Will sniff me out
Harass me
And beat me down
Steal my wealth
Til there is
Nothing left.

Seems like
If I have enough
To feel safe
I won’t be
Safe

Seems like
Those who have
Too little
Will want my
Too much
And will take

Seems like
My head
Will be first
On the block
When those
Who have none
Come
To depose
Those who
Have some

Seems like
If I have money
Those without
Will perceive me
As Evil
As I perceive
Those who
Have money now.

Seems like
I’m afraid
To succeed
So I keep myself
Trapped in
Indigence
And need.

Perhaps I was
A tyrant in some
Life passed
A slave trader
A rapist
A mad King
An ass

Perhaps I built up
For Myself
Mountains of
Karma I must
Slowly burn
By penance
After penance
After payment
After pain.

Or perhaps
I have some great
Duty to obey
Some great
Greatness
To attain
A mountain of
Karma, perhaps
But someday I may
Look down from
That peak
Someday I may
Stand tall and speak
to the masses
Below
Thirsting for
The nectar of my
Hard won peace.

Perhaps nothing
Wants anything from me
Neither greatness
Nor penance
Neither overcoming
Nor going underneath.

Perhaps I have only
Always been
Calling
My own name
To come home
Again
And realize
Something
Never before
Seen.
Something unknown
And unnamed
That gestates in me
Something born from my
Stillness
My not doing
And non being.

I am the river
In the rocky canyon
Brave shrubs and red dirt
Gold-eyed Raven, I am
A serpent, I am
A goat.

I am the bison
That roams
The space between
Vast open sky
And vast open earth

A sacred land
A Sovereign realm

Only the wild enough
Live here with me
With the day sun
The night moon
With stillness
Fertilized by silence
To slow gestation
And precious bloom.

Upgrade this programming
My King and My Queen
Use me to realize the as yet unseen
Use me to write the new Story of Being.

By your grace, I believe
That each interaction
With the manifest realm
Every touch, every smell
Every taste, every sound
Every sight
Nourishes, heals
and glorifies
This Embodied Being:
Your servant
An open cup
Empty
And Willing
To receive.

I invite
The radiance
of my gods
To fall through
My emptiness
like rain.

Nectar from
the deep earth
Wells up in me
Warm, liquid
and Red.

I choose
My magic now.
I say
And then
What Is.

The dense
The weight
In my throat
Suffocating
On my Power
Unspoke.

Until I open my mouth
And Blessings
Fall out
And wiggle
Away.

Listen!
I am become
A Creatress
of Worlds

Not one part
of the whole
Pulsing mystery
of Things
as They Are
need now change.

I have remembered
By grace
how to bathe
and Waters
To seek me
and wash
Lies away.

I turn my eye
On the Priestess
In the
Pools of the
Temple
Making love
in the glade
Birthing daughters
and Lions
Flowing curtains
of fabric
And Veils
Arrayed.
Singing songs to
the Godhead
Drumming
Dancing and
Weeping and
Praying.

I turn my eye
to the heavens
and my sex
to the earth
I become lithe
and speechless
I dissolve
And give birth.

I rewrite
My mythos
According
To Your
Revelation
My Queen

Your magic
And miracles
Heal me
While I rest
Completely
At ease.

Your power
It Fills me
To flowing;
I happily
Give you
My will

Your grace
And your love
They redeem me
While I lie
Sun bathing
And Still.

Your wisdom
Moves
In me
And guides me
My path is
Laid out
While I step.

Your gods
And your angels
They told me
All of this
Happy news
While I slept.

Death,
When she finds me
Will be
A gateway
To ecstasy