Month: January 2024

I am so tired
But I don’t dare
Close my eyes
That is when
The tangled feelings
Rise
Hot tears
Leak
And heart
Cries

Keep them open
Look to the sky
Sunshine
Sun shine
Take in the beauty
When the sun shines
Sliver lights up
A ridge top
Of winter pine
Wisp
Of mist
Rises
When ray
Meets moss

God care
For the bull fight
In there
I will set to making
Learning
Creating
I will busy my hands
Body
Mind
Until the tsunami
Resides
And I can once again find
Refuge
When I go
Inside

Get through the wave
Just get through
The wave
Though the water
Might
Turn to ice
Slice
Your heart to ribbons
Just
Bite your lip
Take every sip
Of sweet nourishment
You can
And
Get through
The wave

Chaos
All around
Certainty
That you will drown
Exhaustion
The more you flail
These all come
Without fail

But also
With time
They do
Go
Too

There will be some puking
On the shore
To be sure
But also
Solid ground
Sun to warm
Bird cries
Reminding you
Of the
Reprieve
You will find
Amongst the trees
Fresh water
To wash the sand
From your mouth
Cool breeze
To tickle your cheek
Welcome you back
To the center
Welcome you
To enter
The great big arms
Of the Universe
Cozy
And warm
Love
Everlasting
Even for
The forlorn

I must
Let some of this
Go
Goodness knows
I will drown with the
Weight of it

Burrowed down
So deep
The sun
Keeps
To little slivers of day
How do I get to the mountain top
Bathed in sun
Oh God
Show me
The way

Eventually I must
Pull my eyes
From the sunset
Stop the desperate run
Of my heart
Against time
Stretching the
Line
Holding the last
Wisp of the sun

Fuck the sunrise
It is not the same
You are not in it
In the same way
And I have no interest
In the promise
Of this new day

But the river
Whisks
Yesterday away
And I will drown
If I cannot find a way
To let go

Stupid strong will
Hold
Let this old body
Hold
The tension
No matter the injuries
I am strong
Or shredded to pieces
I do not care
I will hold
Drown
Cold
Hold

Hold

Hold

But I do know
I cannot hold
Forever
I am human
Try as I might
To go up against the Universe
I am finite
And will of course
Run out of strength
Before
Reality bends

Cough up
Black ink
On the river bed
Eyes fall
To the sand
Where thoughts
Are scrambling like crabs
To find just the right
Way
To say
What I feel
To peel
The cracked skin away
So I can find some peace
In the way
It is
Today