When

When did eves heart
Start
To beat
When was the need
For the push and pull
Of empty and full
First seen

When did Adam first
Know
Not enough
Hunger
Hunter
Needing
To feed

When did I say
Yes
To this life
First breath on my own
Lungs
Burn
Until I let go
A wild cry
That triggers
My lungs
To breath in
Full

When
When
When did we know
The then and now
Of when

When did we learn
Beginning
And end

We explore
Our three-dimensional space
In body
Yet our mind
Tries
To traverse
The fourth
Dimension of time
And what follows
Is both
Torture
And sublime

What
Do we hope
To find

Turn back
To the apple tree
Sit
Try
To resist
The sweetness
Of apples
Untouched
Fallen
All around me

I am finite
Yes

But
Does that mean
I am destined
To horde
Hold
In
Hold off
Everyone
And every thing
So I can be
Free
From my need
Or
Is the freedom
In the wide
Messy
World
Of enough
For you
Enough for me
All my senses
Bring
Now
Will be
Enough
For me
Some
How

Squeeze

How do I pause
Mid scream
To let
The cool breeze
In
How does my
Heart
Pause
Mid squeeze
To let
Your warm
Love
In

How do I meet
This cascade
Of pain
With the softness
Of moss
Instead
Of the rock wall
Of rage

Magnet
Holding my heart
Here
Hands
Fists
Claws
Wanting to tear

Open
Tender palm

Fingers
Of sand
Follow the siren song
On the wind
Until they are gone
And my palms
Dissolve
Running after them
Not willing to stay
And fling
A desperate
Goodbye
Destined
To die
Before it meets
It’s mark

Eyes
Bewildered
Wash
The scene
With tears
Wash wash wash
Maybe
When it clears
All will be well
I will be whole

But
I have eaten
The apple
And I know
Whole
Is not
Here to be found
Holes
Are here to stay
No matter how we
Divide them
Fight them
Flee them
Ignite them
Life
Conceives
The tree
Grows the apple
Juicy
And plump
In front of me
Sets in my belly
The need
To feed
And weeps
With joy
And despair
Love
And care
As I eat
To survive
Taste buds
Bright and alive
Rejoice
At the juice
The crunch
Of flesh
And I
Beg forgiveness
From the tree
For taking this apple
Consuming it
To give me
More time
On the clock
More energy
To walk
To the next tree
And the next
While I try
To work out
Why
I am
Even on
This journey

Soft

Flesh
Muscle
Bone
Politely move aside
While the knife
Slides
Into its new
Home

Smooth
Marble
Crumbles
While tall
Grass
Sighs
And the wrecking ball
Fumbles
Tumbles
In on itself

Force of will
Is nothing here
Silent
And still
Nothing to fight
Here

To curse
Death
Is to grasp
Tight
Life’s own tail

I sit here
Naked
Skin
Soft
No hint
Of scale

Body screams
Signaling
An inhale
Alarm rings
Signaling
A return
To life
Sight
Family
Shoes
And socks
And ringing
The dinner
Bell

Poison

I have this poison
Inside of me
Jagged edge pressing
Deep
Into my heart
Taking away
My freedom
To be
Kind

Teeth clench
Mind wrench
The wires up from the floor
Fuck this reality
I will play
The innocent
No more

I hurt
I destroy
Maybe I hide
It all from my
Conscious mind
But it is not a question
Of if
But how much

I have eaten
This apple that I love
Watched grow from
A bud
Yet
I cannot starve
Right?
Life must go in
Right?

By what right do I stand here
Demand Your Love
By the right of the Agreement
Made above
My pay grade
I am experience
The finite
You are Love
The infinite
One without the other
Would not quite
Make a whole
So I am here
Make me whole
Love me whole
Love me even as you see
The whole
Ugly
Me
Please
Momma
Help me to be
Kind again
Help me to see
The light
Again

Wash the blood
From my hands
Or better yet
Love the me
That is bathed in the blood
Of anger
Rage
And
Entitled treachery