Heavy

My ego is overwhelmed
My heart is too
I feel awful
I simply do not know
What to do

Life guarantees
To do this to you
It’s the murder of minorities
And children
The loss of Roe v Wade
The Taliban has taken over
Russia decided to invade

Sit with it
Feel deep into the pain
Sit in dis-ease
With God
Also Mother
To the hated other
The target
Of our blame

Claws out
Desperate to shred
Pen out
Desperate to get these
Swirling
Stories
Out of my head
Heart out
Desperate to gather
With others
The strength of numbers
Pushing back
This poison
Dread

And you
Human who
Is here with me
Witnessing
Moving
With me
Sharing in this
Human misery

I…
I don’t know what to say
It is hard
So hard
Life is never
Ever
Yet always
-Forever paradox-
Somehow
Okay

Our pain prickles
Our heart
Letting it breathe
Our tears wash our eyes
Letting them see
Our prayers center us
In what is
And what could be
Our rest nourishes us
Readies us
To sacrifice
Serve
Fight
For what we believe

Beast

You
Other
Are not worth
Another poem
Oh wait
This is the first one
Well
This is the only one you get
I hope you
Fucking
Love it

I name you
Beast
I can smell
The self-centered
Rot
On your breath
Feel the depth
Breadth
Of the gouge
Your jagged
Tusk
Has left
In my heart

Damnit
Damn
It
She’s crying now
And I am pissed
Yeah
She would cry anyway
Some day
Has in the past
Fuck
This
Pattern
Of love
And loss

God Damnit

Why the fuck
Do I participate

See saw
See saw
I see now
What I saw
As a child

The same
Loatheful
Beast
I know that chin whisker
Slight limp
In the back
Left
Leg
Fire in the eyes
That all consuming
Fire
When love
Connection
Nurture
Loses out
To anger

Goddamn you beast
You always win
Even my own
Anger at you
Lays out for you
A glorious
Feast

So what
Just drop it all?
I. CAN’T.
Goddamnit
Wouldn’t I
If I could?

But I need love
Or at least that heart
Does

So
We come to the end
I want to stand up
And run
Again
No platitudes
No resolution
There is no solution
To this mud blizzard
Of love
And life

Come along beast
Let’s see
If you
Can keep up
With my weak legs
Powered
By a volcano
In my heart