Reaching Out

It has been
Three months
Since I
Let you go

And ohhhh
How my heart
Then
Was filled
With woah
She did not know
What to do
With this gaping hole
Left
In life
Without you

We sat then
In the sea
Of grief
I held her
Then
In her pain
And her need

And I said
Little one
Give it time
Rest into God
And maybe
You will find
The answer
To this blood
Gush
Pain
Crush
Something warm
Nourishing
Kind

So
We
Waited there
I held her
When needed
But we stayed
There
As time passed
And the pain
Receded

Three months
Three months
We can revisit
In three months
Nothing done
Cannot be
Undone
If it
Is willed
By She

And now
The time is up

Now what

Heart flutter
Awake
Eagerness
And fear
Expressed
In a mild
Quake

What now
What do I want
What can I give
And how?

Jumble inside
Give it a few days
Rumble inside
It’s okay
Let it stay

And now
What do I want
To say?

Just this

Beautiful being
Gift from our God
I want further release
For you
And for me
I want to let go
Of the No
The boundary
The barrier
The huge ass wall
That protects me
Through you
From the parts of me
I don’t want to
See

I want to be open
To connection
And to none
To no reflection
When I am seeking
Some

And even if you
Say No
I am complete
For in me
I have found
My own
Release