Month: November 2021

Just above
The surface
Of my muscles
Electricity
Plays
Taunting
Coaxing them
To clench
Lock
Into this red hot
Rage

This sewing machine
Inanimate as it is
Has not
So much
Done me wrong
But who can deny
The orgasmic
Song
It would sing
As it kissed
The wall
With animal
Force
Parts
Fling
To
And fro
Sweet
Sweet
Release
No more
Fucking
Sewing
This hobby
Has run its
Course

Oh sewing machine
Sacrificial lamb
I infuse you with
The insanity
Of raising children
In this community
Forsaken
Land
As you soar
Through the air
I give to you
The roar
Of billions of women
Sick
Of being less
While men
Are more

May your destruction
Bring peace

Fuck you
Sewing
Machine

Like a bird
Of prey
My mind
Is attuned
To notice
Change

Coming and going
Echoed
In feelings
Of elation
And pain

How then
Can I find
The Infinite
Who’s love
Never waivers
Or stops
But always
Impossibly
Remains
The same

My ears
And tongue
Retreat
From the
Mind’s
Constant
Hum
And open
Expand
To Love’s
Gentle
Thrum

Oh God
When I ask
For words
I hear none
But when I come
Opened
By my frailty
And Need
I am greeted
With a love
I could never
Imagine
Must feel
Cannot see

Oh Momma
Help me
Receive
Help me
See
Your constant
Love
Through the
Ways
It changes
Me

It has been
Three months
Since I
Let you go

And ohhhh
How my heart
Then
Was filled
With woah
She did not know
What to do
With this gaping hole
Left
In life
Without you

We sat then
In the sea
Of grief
I held her
Then
In her pain
And her need

And I said
Little one
Give it time
Rest into God
And maybe
You will find
The answer
To this blood
Gush
Pain
Crush
Something warm
Nourishing
Kind

So
We
Waited there
I held her
When needed
But we stayed
There
As time passed
And the pain
Receded

Three months
Three months
We can revisit
In three months
Nothing done
Cannot be
Undone
If it
Is willed
By She

And now
The time is up

Now what

Heart flutter
Awake
Eagerness
And fear
Expressed
In a mild
Quake

What now
What do I want
What can I give
And how?

Jumble inside
Give it a few days
Rumble inside
It’s okay
Let it stay

And now
What do I want
To say?

Just this

Beautiful being
Gift from our God
I want further release
For you
And for me
I want to let go
Of the No
The boundary
The barrier
The huge ass wall
That protects me
Through you
From the parts of me
I don’t want to
See

I want to be open
To connection
And to none
To no reflection
When I am seeking
Some

And even if you
Say No
I am complete
For in me
I have found
My own
Release

Mother
Forgive me
For I
Must
Fuss
At the breast
Despite
My best
Effort
To let go

How do I
Let go
How do I
Know
That these
Raw nerves
Burnt in the past
Won’t be
Burnt again

How do I
Loosen the hold
Of what was
What could be
And let the now
Settle
In

Momma
I am thirsty
Help me drink
I am hungry
Help me eat
Or
Bold release
Help me see
How to love
This thirst
And hunger
That are
Such
Integral
Parts
Of me