You are not my mother
No matter how badly
I want you to be
You are not my lover
Together seeking unity
You are the other
Holding projections of me
With just enough of you
Mixed in
To make me
Fucking crazy
You are not my redeemer
Willing and ready to absorb me
You are not my abuser
Although you do make me angry
We have made an agreement
Where I let you in
And you sit at the edge of the well
Keep me company
While I writhe and scream
Collapse
Dream
Within
No matter how hard
I try
To find a way
To use you
To help me escape
It is the same you
The same me
The same pain
I have to face
Eventually
I can’t erase
The past
Heal it
Conceal it
Away
It is here to stay
And it is up to me
To find a way
Through
A way
To move
These emotions
Holding me here
Find space
Find a tiny little grove
Where I can anchor a
Finger
A tiny toe
Begin to stretch
Strengthen
Grow
I don’t know when
I don’t know how
But I do
Have a little better
Understanding
Now