Crazy Train

Bullshit

Fucking bullshit

That I should sit here
Head a-spin
Heart pinned
To your wall

Dot my i’s
Cross my t’s
Make sure none
Of my moves
Displease

Watch
Listen
Learn
From mistakes
Mind
Saves
Me from the pain
I feel
Over and over again

Fuck
This
Shit

Fuck
My needing you

What tiny
Grimy
Weak
Part of me
Constantly refuses to see
That I don’t need this
It just hurts
Stupid
Meek
Sheep
Eagerly
Taking cues
Dancing
To keep up
To keep close
To you

When will I listen
To myself?
All I can hear is
If you don’t listen
If you don’t stay
No one will love you
You will be alone
Some
Day

Let that day be now
Fuck it
No longer victim
Chuck it
Out the door
Back turn
Grimace
Tear
Heart cry
Weak little thing
Inviting this sting
Over
And fucking
Over
Again

Ears betray
Senses weave through the cracks
To find you
To ask you to stay
To say
I will do anything
Don’t go
I will be anything
Don’t you know?
I don’t want to be alone
Cut off
But I don’t know how
Now
To make it better

I guess I had better
Let you back in
After a long sulk
Anger brimming
Causing me to choke
On the sorries
And I was wrongs
How can I make it better
Do you want a fucking song?!

Forget it
Just
Same
Barren ground
Same
Standoff
Between the wild
Dance
Of dust
And heavy footprints
Long forgotten

Just tread
Dead
Lines of thought

Feel
Mango squeeze
Of the heart
I don’t know
How this came to start
But I know
It ends
When I can get off this fucking
Crazy train
Endure the loneliness
And see
That I can
Somehow
Be free