Month: October 2019

Come to me Beloved
If you will come
Find me in the holy darkness
Of the palace
You have built for us

Come to me
From the unseen
Touch me
With unlit hands
And kiss me
Our mouths coated
In darkness
And Mystery.

I am willing
To be unknowing
To relinquish control
To let you be
A secret
Touching me
In silence
Without a herald
Or a history

I am willing to receive you
by night
The lamp oil
Will remain
Cool Oil
I shall not
Fire it to light

I will know you
By touch
By smell
By taste

May the gods
Keep the sight
Of you
In their day lit heights

I will take the weight
Of your dark-clothed
Body
Lying next to mine.

->>
Hello fear
Yes, you have a home here
Whether I like it or not
Whether I can survive it
Or not

How can I grow to hold you
While holding myself
Too
How can God help me to love you
Wholly
Despite what you do

Fear
What is your face?
How do you move through
The dark wood?
What are you hungry for?
What do you need?

Whenever I see your shadow
Feel your hot breath
Taste your musk
I want to run
I must
Run

Find refuge quick
Huddle in
Quiver
Shiver
Cover my exposed
Skin

How can you and I
Find
Some sort of companionship
Or at least
Avoid
Demolishment

How can I hear you
Before your cry
Has become a hurricane
How can I feel you
Before the earthquake of emotion
Threatens to open up the earth
And swallow me whole

Fear
See me here
Resourced
By God
Resourced
By everyone who I love
Sit by my side
No need to hide
Or sneak up behind
You can come to me
Sit
Rest
See
That I mean to befriend you
That I mean to accept you
You and I are connected
Since meeting that one day
And it is about time we
Acknowledge this truth
And say
“Hi”
“Let’s be friends”
“Let’s promise to meet here
In love and curiosity
Again and again”

Help me, Mama
From my despair
Where
I can scarcely breathe
A breath of prayer.

Help me.

Hear me, my Queen
And remember your
Mercy towards me.
I am willing to become
The woman you
Have made me
To be.
Please, please
Be gentle with me.

I am willing to lose
What is not mine to keep
But please
Pour your nectar
On me
While I weep
For those things
I have loved
While I grieve
For the nest
I have made
For myself
With my own
Clumbsy hands
And small strength.

I am willing to rise
Into this
New life
You have made
For me
With your wise
Hands
And your great
Strength.

But I beg you
To hold the gate
And protect my
Naked body
My cracked open heart
While I wait
For this change
To transmutate
This body of fear
To a body of light
And grace.

I am willing to trust you
But please please
Hold me
Close to your heart
While my whole
World
Falls away

Soothe me
While I Dream
Of destruction.
Hold me until
I wake
Into my new life
Into my new fate.

I feel it today
The distinct
Sensation
Of belief
That my
Body
Need open
Only to Love.

Of course
Men
Want
To fuck me.
Of course
They do.

I needn’t
Let them
Do so
To prove.
They want
To use me.

They do.

I don’t know
If men
Or any man
Wants to love me
But I know
How
To find out.

I know
How
To hold The gate
I know
How
To wait
To hear
The love
Over the static
Of the lust.

I don’t know this
From words.
I learned it
From hurt

So I can
Bless their longing
That wronged me
And bless my
New found
Knowing
That I can
Say no
And be Safe.