– August 20 –
-~~-~~-
My heart trembles
With Love
And hurt
And fear
Uncertain of the next move
Bolt
Or move closer?
Dam this river
Of love
That bursts from my chest
My eyes
My tongue
It is too much
It is too deep
This is the sacred place
That I must keep
Closed off
Pristine
Safe
And though I guard
Never rest
Never lose
Control,
Control has been taken from me
With big heart
And hands
Ears
And eyes
A soul calling to my own
My soul rising
Clambering
Crying to be let out
When did this keep
Become a cage?
Where did the sun go
Why is it dark here?
This soul
Wants gold
Love
Loss
And grief
This soul wants
To dance her booty
To the moon
To the sun
No matter the eyes
The judgements
The risk
This soul wants to flare with love
Let it radiate
In all directions
And this soul wants this
This opportunity to open
To pour forth
Unfiltered
Unfettered
By concern for loss
To build the muscle
Of love
But her guardian knows
The pain
Of loss
Of abandonment
Of conditions
Placed on Love
She knows
The shattering
The falling
The shaky ground
The yearning
When a tendril of love
Fully extended
Is cut off
The blood of loss
Pouring everywhere
And she will not let this happen
Again
To this precious baby
This beautiful soul
Better to keep her safe
And sound
Whole
But now this very soul
Is crying
Crying
Crying
And nothing will soothe her
She wants out
Into this cutting wind
Scorching sun
Blistering heat
Withering cold
She wants out
Of her womb
I have built
She wants the gold
The love
The pain
The hurt
And she is crazy
But she is right
She is not afraid
I am afraid for both of us
Where is safety
Outside these walls?
Safety is wherever God is
She has built us a temple
Golden and strong
And she will rebuild it
Over and over again
Nothing can penetrate these walls
Fear
Loss
Shame
Anger
Nothing can come inside
Unless we let it
We are safe here
Left alone to rest
And be with