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Lately
This anxiety
Has been bringing me to my knees
Again and again
Called from my bed
With this feeling of dread
Skin prickling
Body hot
And so I go
Outside
To kneel beside
This old oak tree
Stars twinkling down
Moon waning, hidden
As she regroups
And replenishes
Is it the absence of the moon in the sky
That calls me out
In resonance
With the chaotic energy of the stars
Without their mother?
Or the upwelling
Of another deep surrender
Something I am holding that wants to be
Let go
Let fly
Left to find its own path
To God
Carved into this star-laden sky?
I don’t know
I only know to go
When called
To let go
When called
Feel the illusion of control
Trickle out of my fingers
Breath this poison up
And out
Feel the empty hole
Of nothing to do
But sit
Be with
Ride this through
Surrender
It is all I can do
